4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack