Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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