Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
