i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
