all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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