A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
