Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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