i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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