So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
