I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
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And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
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My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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