Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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