That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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