He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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