Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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