Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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