you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
