So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
