my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
