I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
