Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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