You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
