The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i dont even know how to be here
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
