About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Randomize
