LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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