Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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