Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name