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• (760): View more from California

  ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!

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• (407): View more from Florida

  I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her

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• (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.

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• (469): View more from Texas

  Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.

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• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (563): View more from Iowa

  My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.

  (1-563): View more from Iowa

  I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples

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