Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
