Texts From Last Night

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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...

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  (504): can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am... http://tfl.nu/u07k
  Replies (4) Good night (1648) Bad night (547)
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  (646): View more from New York

  He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.

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  (646): He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season. http://tfl.nu/dtjf
  Replies (11) Good night (3555) Bad night (1132)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment

  (757): View more from Virginia

  Personally I think it's a tremendous investment

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  (215): I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment (757): Personally I think it's a tremendous investment http://tfl.nu/ikjn
  Replies (8) Good night (2804) Bad night (763)
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  (409): View more from Texas

  There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.

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  (409): There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won. http://tfl.nu/om0u
  Replies (2) Good night (936) Bad night (1580)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"

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  (814): All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories" http://tfl.nu/dbqw
  Replies (6) Good night (2711) Bad night (1038)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.

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  (775): She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo. http://tfl.nu/1nmk
  Replies (15) Good night (835) Bad night (3834)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.

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  (307): i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl. http://tfl.nu/csya
  Replies (15) Good night (2951) Bad night (952)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  #1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.

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  (313): #1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned. http://tfl.nu/f6q8
  Replies (7) Good night (1522) Bad night (543)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.

  (1-778): View more from British Columbia

  You fool.

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  (778): I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps. (1-778): You fool. http://tfl.nu/kp0u
  Replies (10) Good night (1074) Bad night (807)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...

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  (360): Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys... http://tfl.nu/6y99
  Replies (3) Good night (650) Bad night (402)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?

  (1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.

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  (570): At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement? (1-570): I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet. http://tfl.nu/p7w6
  Replies (2) Good night (912) Bad night (313)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.

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  (646): I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar. http://tfl.nu/2k0c
  Replies (5) Good night (1078) Bad night (258)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.

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  (954): When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex. http://tfl.nu/36q6
  Replies (4) Good night (1158) Bad night (215)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes

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  (321): I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes http://tfl.nu/1qw5
  Replies (0) Good night (541) Bad night (205)
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  (858): View more from California

  I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"

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  (858): I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well" http://tfl.nu/9o99
  Replies (1) Good night (583) Bad night (225)

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