new low.... made out with someone while peeing
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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