Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
