Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
