I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
