you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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