Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
