I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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