come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
