fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
