you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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