By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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