this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
