ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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