just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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