We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
