eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
