mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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