I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
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