I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
