Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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