Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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