We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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