You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
