operation harelip BJ is a go
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
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