Don't you send me to vm
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
