just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
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My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
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I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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