My room smells like vodka and shame
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Randomize