I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
