Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
His nipple licking is glorious
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
