I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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