Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize